Thursday, August 30, 2007


How much trouble are skirts? I was wearing a skirt today. And why not? The weather was perfect and I was going to lunch with some workmates. So I put on my new short, grey skirt. Its not short short. Its sensible business length, and I teamed it with fashionable green heels and a flirty white top, with thick diagonal yellow and green stripes.

Getting into the car showed me some potential problems that I'd be facing as the day progressed. See, I nearly pulled a Britney Spears. Getting out, I DID pull a Britters! Thankfully noone was around to see it.

And it got me thinking. Which can be seriously dangerous. Travelling on stairs, calves must be touching at all times. Getting into/out of a car is difficult. You need to put one leg in, then kinda sit on the edge of the seat and bring your other leg in, before rotating into position. When I'm in a skirt, I have to do everything differently. I even have to walk differently. Because if I fall over I'm going to make a whole bunch of people go blind!

Everything that your legs do in a skirt, they have to do it together. Which just isn't something I'm into. Don't get me wrong. I'm not promiscuous. But I'm a jeans girl. i'm the girl who sits at the bar, with each leg wrapped around the legs of the bar stool. I run up stairs with my knees apart. I sling one leg into the car, before getting comfortable, and then I bring righty in. Legs apart the whole time. You can't do that in a short skirt. If you even tried you'd make Britters look like a nun. You even have to sit differently! Thighs, knees, calves and ankles must be touching the entire time you're sitting. Its like you're posing for your damned class photos all over again!

So today was a lesson in decorum. And I passed. With flying colours. Honestly, I'm surprised.

Have you ever noticed how people check out other people when they're alone? Its deliberate nonchalance. I was walking to lunch with the GalPal and there was a hottie waiting by himself outside some door. I noticed as we walked up and decided to play it cool. He was watching the scenery and I knew he'd spot me soon. My legs have toned up really well with all the dancing I do, and the weight I've lost, so I knew he'd cop a good look at them. And as I went passed I snuck a glance at him, you know, casually, only not.

And we made eye contact. He looked a little bit stunned. I'm not sure why. I didn't even have my boobs out! So we did our 'casual' thing of sliding our gazes over each other. But we both knew we were checking each other out. Its funny the way we work.

So I have these two new blogs. I made an offer and it was thrown back in my face. So now I have a few new blogs that I won't give up, and I have no idea what to do with. I'm using one for posting forwards, funnies and pics of hot guys. If anyone wants to put something in, email it to me.

As for the other one... currently its in lockdown. I guess I'll keep it in case I ever want to use another blog for something.

Oh, and before I forget. This weekend is smut weekend. If you don't want to read it, or you're sensitive, then stay away over the weekend and Monday. You have been warned and/or teased...


Jenny! said...

Oh...smut sounds fun!

I say fuck the shirt etiquette! I work on the windiest street in CHicago, so there is nothing you can do about your skirt flying up (even when holding it) with the wind!

Princess of the Universe said...

I actually started a whole new private blog. Too many people IRL know about this one, so I decided to open up a new place where I can rant a bit more anonymously...

Anonymous said...

I love wearing those flowing skirts but I am always so afraid the wind is going to blow the skirt up and everyone is going to see my thong th thong thong thong!

Skirt are kind of a pain... but so pretty. :-) Glad you didn't flash anyone your pretty bits!

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Sweetie got it all right in the matter of wearing short shirts. I personally love to wear skirts. Getting in and out of a care is a breeze, but every once in a while I feel the need to give a little show. hehehehe. I'm such a cock teaser sometimes.

I one time when I started dating my girlfriend, I wore a real short skirt. She opened the door for me and as I got out of the car. She smiled and said. "You're not wearing panties!" I smiled back and said "Nope...just like your Barbie doll...huh?"

Hell...I was crazy in love with her from the first I set my eyes on was our third date and we had known each other for months. I wasn't playing nice anymore. I'm lots better when I'm playing the bad girl and you know what happens to bad girls...they get spanked. Woohoo.

Hey when you set your eyes on another and they do the same...don't you feel that pull and like you know them from another place or time.

Conrats on hitting the 10,000 visitor mark...later.


RAFFI said...

i will forward you stuff for your blogs. as for smut.... BRING IT ON!!

unique_stephen said...

I like girls in short skirts...but then again I'm quite happy to admit that I'm a first class pervert. nothing like a glimpse of flesh

yrautca said...

I agree skirts are troublesome but they look so HOT.

What is smut weekend?

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Phish...I keep forgetting, but a post or two back, anonymous printed a beautiful song by the name of " And So It Goes." It's a Billy Joel song, one of my favorites. Pull it up in system won't let me attach it here. You'll love it.
Ciao babes.

Steph said...

It's gorgeous weather for skirts and who cares if a little flash happens. I bet it brightens a few dudes day.

Cazzie!!! said...

What, no boobs out, LOL. HAve a gret weekend..I will look at your stories too :)

Anonymous said...

I haven't worn a skirt since my brother's wedding in March so I applaud you.

I always worry about sudden gusts of wind (happened to me lotsa times before) and having to sit like a LAYDEEEE. I hate that!

Good for you, loosing weight - chick.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Oooo yay! Smut weekend...I love those! :)

The T-Dude said...

There are few things as sexy as a well worn skirt. I am sure that the hottie checking you out was overwhelmed, unable to stop what was, I'm sure, an instinctual reation to your appearance.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I can't wait for the weekend posts. I've got my screen-capture button ready!

phishez_rule said...

Jenny - Yeah, I just have to find time to compose it!

Princess - can you mail me an invite?

Kelly - its not the skirt so much as the shoes that HAVE to go with it.

SZJ - If a good girl never gets spanked I'll never behave again. Thanks for the link. I prob have it on my computer then.

Raffi - looking forward to the forwards!

Stephen - we already know you're a pervert. Part of your charm, really.

Y - I do a written porn feature once a month. But I don't call it porn, cuz thats crass. Smut sounds nicer.

Steph - Seeing my thighs won't brighten anyones day.

Cazzie - boobs OR calves. I don't like showing too much skin.

Betty - Its hard work being a lady!

Stacy - I see you're going to send my stat counter crazy.

T - how about not wearing a skirt? Is that sexy too?

Bug - so you can read in 'privacy'?

The T-Dude said...

Of course not wearing a skirt can be sexy...but it isn't as sexy as when you've had the pleasure of slowly removing it. The anticipation, the moment of clarity and revelation when it slips from a womans hips. Now that's sexy.

phishez_rule said...

T- dayam! You should write your own smut.

The T-Dude said...


But is it really smut when that is how you truly feel and the feeling exists regardless of its ability or tendency to titillate when shared with others?

When I tell someone that the subtle sound of a skirt as it slips over a woman hips should be a bullhorn for all the meaning and possibilities it holds. That the smell of a woman's hair brushing the pillow and then your face as she climbs on top of you in an act of passion is a symphony in my mind, a symphony to be savored and cherished to the rhythm of mutual desire being fullfilled. If that is how I truly feel, and if I tell this to someone else without the intention of exciting them, yet it does, is that smut?

I honestly don't know. But that being said, if I were to write smut, I hope it would be as good as all of your writing, which is lovely.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

That's why I could never be a good tranny, no matter how bad I want to be the most famous one in the city.

it's the little things... said...

Dancing, weight loss, good weather, hot guy check-out action...could life be any better for Phishez? :)

PS I know about the English spelling (from my blog)...I was just giving Fingers a hard time. He claims he could beat me in Scrabble. I think not. :)

Lucy said...

I stay away from skirts all together. In fact, I've been forewarned from other female comics not to wear skirts because people will just stare at your legs during the entire act, and not pay attention to your words/jokes/routine at all. (What a freaking double standard in this business!)

Anonymous said...

Lovely Phisehez - that was me in me dreams... I look forward to a specially smutty weekend!

Rups said...

I sometimes embrace windy days for that very reason, but then it perks up my outings more then ipods could ever do.

xo :) Rups

phishez_rule said...

T - you old tease! Thats smut. Its artistic written porn. If its not something you feel, then its trashy written porn.

Kenneth - you don't like a breeze around your dangle?

LT - of course he'd beat you! We use more letters and that c is worth waay more points than a crappy common S.

Lucy - take it as a compliment! Means you have nice legs. Though I'd be worried about wearing a skirt and being higher than everybody else. It would give them a totally different view of you!

Mutley - i look forward to bringing it to you. And I'm glad its over. It was really hard to write.

Rups - You like windy days because it gives people a better view up your skirt?