Thursday, August 02, 2007

"Into the abyss"

Whilst at work, I decided to head out for a cold drink during my lunch break. Since my work uniform is fuuugly, I went out in my civvies. I have to say, I looked dam hot. Animal print dress, mega boobs, black suede stiletto ankle boots with a bow. The hot works. I looked fantastic.

I didn't feel it though. I was wondering if my boobs were too out there, if I was walking funny (because the height of my heels was hurting the arch of my foot), if anyone would notice my hair was gritty, or that the boots made my calves look fat. But I knew the general impression was of hotness, so I worked it. And apparently I worked it rather well.

So I got my drink and headed back to work. Sitting in the tearoom reading and talking, when Mr Perpetually Single walks in and sits next to me. He's quite the boobs man. I'm still in my mega boobs outfit. Lunch is finished and we're still sitting around talking. I'm playing with my earring (I'm a fidgeter) when it undoes. And falls out. I track it as it falls, but not fast enough. I think its on me somewhere. I check my lap. No earring. I do a quick scan of the floor. No earring. I glance at my cleavage and somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a soft belch.

I say softly, 'I hope it didn't go down there.' To which my boss quips, 'Into the abyss.' Smartarse. I check my lap again. It hasn't turned up. I play with my dress, hoping its hidden in there somewhere. Its not. The floor isn't giving up any secrets. I stare at the far corner of the room. I'm going to have to check my bra. Its gotta be there. My colleagues laugh. I slowly stand up and exit the room, face burning.

Hitting the change room I fossick in my bra. I can't find it. I give up and begin to get undressed. Shaking out this bit of my dress and poking that. Still no earring. I get back into my work uniform (the fuuugly one) and head back to the tea room for one last check.

Fucker was on the floor under the table the whole time.


Obesio said...

Funny story, though a picture of you inspecting your boobs for hidden treasure would have made it a 10.

Anonymous said...

hahaha! I thought you were going to tell me the boob man tried to get it out! LOL! Oh... to have that problem.

It's easier to be me. When something falls, there isn't much to catch it. It is on the floor. Guaranteed. :-)

Natalia said...

LOL! :) Yaay boobs!


Crushed by Ingsoc said...

I used to have this with my old crucifix chain. One of the links was weak, and kept uncoupling, sending our lord down my shirt to join the most unholy parts of my anatomy.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Hey Phis...ooh, you make me see it all in my head. Really. I thought he was going to offer to fetch it out of your bra, but I bet he would have taken his time...hehehehe.

Hey while in high school the guys would fold bills into triangles and us gals would pull our tops out and down a tad to make like a basket. The fellas would then finger kick the folded bill into our bras, like a field goal in foot ball, American football. Oh and in the game they get a show and we got to keep what we caught. Babes you would have made a killing.

The thing was to make sure you don't get caught. Sister Mary Alice would make you say a gazillion "Our Fathers and Hail Marys."

BTW...yeah, sounds like you looked hot in that outfit.

Gitta go...I'm been to two meetings and I have one more today. Later...Ciao.

fingers said...

Same thing happened to me, Phish.
I lost my wife in a Tokyo nightclub one evening.
Management rang the next morning to tell me the 'fucker was on the floor under the table the whole time...'

The Man at the Pub said...

Ahh yesss. All the pens and coins go to the back of the couch, all the earrings and men's eyes end up in cleavage.

I say, if you got it flaunt it, which is what I say to my self-conscious fiance. She asks "Do my boobs show too much" and I reply, "There is no such thing as too much".

And stuff is always in the first place you look.

Happy Friday :o)

phishez_rule said...

Obesio - there are enough pics of my boobs on my site already.

Kelly - When it rains I always have this line of dry right under my boobs. Its embarrassing.

Natalia - they are so special and squishy.

Ingsoc - your peepee has been blessed.

SZJ - I bet he thought of it. The game sounds very profitable.

Fingers - well you shouldn't have spent so much time looking for her in your man cleavage.

TMAP - You say there's never too much, but I bet there has been cases where you've seen saggy old woman boobs and rethought that.

Sam said...

lol... now dat must have been infuriating!! well all part of the game...

honkeie2 said...

I am sorry but I have to laugh at your expense. ha!
But just to let you know were my mind is, when you wrote, "boots made my calves look fat" I thought it said 'BooBs'And all I kept thinking was how would boobs make your calves look fat?

Josh said...

LOL @ "into the abyss." I'll have to remember that one for conversational use. ;)