Whilst at work, I decided to head out for a cold drink during my lunch break. Since my work uniform is fuuugly, I went out in my civvies. I have to say, I looked dam hot. Animal print dress, mega boobs, black suede stiletto ankle boots with a bow. The hot works. I looked fantastic.
I didn't feel it though. I was wondering if my boobs were too out there, if I was walking funny (because the height of my heels was hurting the arch of my foot), if anyone would notice my hair was gritty, or that the boots made my calves look fat. But I knew the general impression was of hotness, so I worked it. And apparently I worked it rather well.
So I got my drink and headed back to work. Sitting in the tearoom reading and talking, when Mr Perpetually Single walks in and sits next to me. He's quite the boobs man. I'm still in my mega boobs outfit. Lunch is finished and we're still sitting around talking. I'm playing with my earring (I'm a fidgeter) when it undoes. And falls out. I track it as it falls, but not fast enough. I think its on me somewhere. I check my lap. No earring. I do a quick scan of the floor. No earring. I glance at my cleavage and somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a soft belch.
I say softly, 'I hope it didn't go down there.' To which my boss quips, 'Into the abyss.' Smartarse. I check my lap again. It hasn't turned up. I play with my dress, hoping its hidden in there somewhere. Its not. The floor isn't giving up any secrets. I stare at the far corner of the room. I'm going to have to check my bra. Its gotta be there. My colleagues laugh. I slowly stand up and exit the room, face burning.
Hitting the change room I fossick in my bra. I can't find it. I give up and begin to get undressed. Shaking out this bit of my dress and poking that. Still no earring. I get back into my work uniform (the fuuugly one) and head back to the tea room for one last check.
Fucker was on the floor under the table the whole time.